the day we found each other

I look at you, you look at me,
a gaze and charm
that holds the immense weight
of the suspense of the moment.

Your lips graze against mine,
your desire presses against mine,
your teeth sink into my shoulders—
I wince.

My tongue explores 
the warmth of your mouth.
I reveal to you, 
you reveal to me.
We strip the layers one by one:
our scars, our demons,
our impulses, our fears,
our blunders, our shame,
our ugliness—
all laid bare.

The evening sun
shines on random objects in the room,
a beige lampshade painted with sunflowers,
a strand of burgundy-dyed hair stuck in a pearl earring, 
a crumpled tissue smudged with lipstick—
the same bloodred hue
as the bite on my shoulder—
a lone origami swan
perched on the bedside table,
beads of sweat twinkling on moving skin,
and the hushed silence
of stripped clothes on the floor. 

The Wilds

The universe expands
and wraps into itself.
From this self-love,
new worlds emerge:
some barren,
some virginal,
some indulgent,
some magical, vibrant, and possessed
like Tolkein's forbidden forests,
fiery rains
and purplish-orange skies.
 
The sheen of the blades,
the green of the blades,
the warmth
of some crepuscular caresses,
the cold and the silence
between the four walls,
the stark memories
of a beloved
during the final, fading heartbeats,
the beauty and the chaos
within us-
forged in the furnaces
of distant stars.

an argument against being human

We don't just exist.
We want to be a part of the knowing, deep knowing,
the dread, the Lovecraftian dread,
We want to be a part of the pleasure, the race, the rush,
We want to be a part of the love, the drudgery, the pining,
We want to be attached, to connect, to despair,
We all want a spot under the sun, a place under the sky,
a sliver of the moon, or the full moon.
 
We don't just exist
like the pure delight of a swallow's flight
on a crisp spring afternoon,
or the breeze that carries her.
We don’t just exist
like the cares of an ant
which loiters on a dropped ice-cream cone
on the edge of a busy pavement.

We go deeper!
We lie to ourselves,
‘it can’t be that simple’,
we thrust ourselves
into the deepest layers of hell,
where we incubate
in carcasses of rotten prejudices, ideals, and beliefs,
while the modest brains
of birds, beasts, and bees,
deliver to them a freedom
within the two-dimensional world of survival. 

(the ant allegory lifted from ‘Better Call Saul – Season 5)

Obsession

How I stare at you, into you,
how I mute the voices,
within and around,
blur the background,
and become hyper aware
of your presence.

How you look at me, just casually,
I stumble awkwardly,
I fumble,
how you finish my lines,
and how you complete me.

How the smell of your body lingers
in every corner of the room
long after you are gone,
how I feed my fixation
and become breathless. 

Daydreaming

Walking in and out of countless doors,
the profundity and beauty
of life and existence wrap around me
and hit me hard.
I become self-aware of the magnitude of things
and the smallness of things.
The light from the skies dances on
every mote of dust
and every atom of being.  
The shimmer blinds my eyes
as I drive myself over the edge.
 
(an ode to Radiohead’s masterpiece)